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Coping with a divorce can be challenging and emotionally taxing. Nobody gets married thinking that one day, they’ll end up divorcing the person they thought they wanted to spend the rest of their life with. However, sometimes couples have irreconcilable differences that make a partnership impossible to maintain. If you didn’t know you weren’t fully compatible with someone until time had passed, and you don’t want to compromise your standards, your options are limited.
If you are going through a divorce, or are about to file for a divorce, here’s how to make the process a little easier.
Work with a divorce attorney
One of the biggest sources of frustration during a divorce often comes from having your paperwork rejected and having your case pushed to the back of the line until you fix the problem. This happens more often than you might think, and it can happen more than once to the same couple.
Divorce paperwork must be filled out completely and correctly. Otherwise, it won’t be accepted. If you or your spouse skip anything, especially a signature, your divorce will be postponed. However, each state also has a list of requirements that you must meet in order to get a divorce. This is why it’s a wise move to hire a divorce lawyer. For example, if you’re in Ventura County, California, you both have to have resided in California for the last six months and in Ventura County (or nearby counties) for the last three months.
If you try to start the divorce process by filing paperwork on your own, and you aren’t aware of these and other laws, when your paperwork is finally received and processed, you’ll find out that you have to start all over again when you meet the requirements. The best way to avoid this type of frustrating delay is to hire a divorce attorney to help you every step of the way.
Find a divorce counselor
Although people have been getting support from counselors for years while going through a divorce, the existence of actual divorce counselors is somewhat new. This type of therapy works with both partners to help them process and manage their divorce in the most respectful and constructive way. The goal isn’t to reconcile your differences – it’s to lessen the stress and make the divorce process easier. However, some people do end up repairing their marriage this way.
The benefits of divorce counseling are massive:
· Communication is facilitated by a neutral third party.
· You’ll learn techniques to manage negative emotions and resolve issues.
· Support for both of you while going through the separation process.
· The ability to understand what went wrong and how to apply those lessons to future relationships.
· Support for transitioning into a new life and improving self-care.
· Post-divorce counseling with support for new and unfamiliar issues.
If you and your partner can’t communicate without getting emotional or fighting, and the stress is keeping you from being able to process what’s happening in a healthy way, divorce counseling might be exactly what you both need to get through this tough time in your life. If your partner doesn’t want to do counseling, you can always choose to go alone.
Join a support group
If private counseling doesn’t appeal to you and sharing your feelings with friends isn’t helping enough, try finding a support group in your area. When you share your situation and experiences with people going through the same things as you, it can really make you feel like you’re not alone and that there are people who understand what you’re going through. It’s not that the support you get from your friends isn’t good enough; it’s just that knowing others understand you from experience provides a whole other level of support.
Embrace the opportunity to start over
It can be exhausting thinking about starting over with your life after a divorce, but it can also be an exciting adventure. Give yourself time to grieve the loss of your relationship properly, but don’t stay stuck in the mud. Start looking at things you can control and learn to recognize opportunities to recreate your life. You can pursue anything you want after your divorce, whether it’s a new career or even a new relationship.
Don’t let your past define your future. Take time to grieve and adjust to being alone, and then find something new that lights your passion on fire and create the life you really want to live.
